My loved ones have asked me this month what I want for Christmas. My wish this year is different than in previous years. I used to wish for World Peace, but all I want for Christmas this year is…for each person on this planet to know what a truly valuable, special and unique person they really are.
The core questions
Think about it for a minute. How many problems have the lack of this understanding at their root? All any of us really wants to know is:
- Am I seen?
- Am I heard?
- Am I valued?
To be seen, heard and valued are the core needs that every person on this planet has. Most of the problems that are occurring in this world – currently and in the past – are rooted in a lack of these. Political polarity, desire to dominate others, war, the #metoo movement, violence, mass shootings, bullying, #twitter wars, the rise of reality TV, creating “highlight reels” on social media, FOMO. This list goes on and on.
From the largest global problems to the “smallest” toddler tantrum, all we really want to know is this.
A powerful Christmas wish
In past years, I have wished for World Peace: Cliche, I know. But this season, I realized that my new wish could actually achieve world peace. If every person felt valued, seen and heard, there would be no need to dominate another person or another group of people. There would be no need for violence and forced submissiveness. That is on a large scale, but even in our families, the dynamics would change.
If each parent felt seen, heard and valued, fear would not rise up when interacting with their children. Parents would not feel the need to dole out harsh punishments for fear that their young ones are not seeing, hearing and valuing them. Rather, parents would understand this: When their children mess up, it is because something prevented them from making a better choice and thus, the challenge is to figure out what prevented them. Child-rearing would be understood to be 18+ years of helping the child to grow into the fullest expression of themselves. And if THAT happened, imagine what the world would look like…
Merry Christmas to each and every one of you. And Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanza and every wonderful thing there is to celebrate this time of year!
