I decided to write my post last night about my struggles right after I brought my kids to swim practice. I took a few quiet minutes in the car (alone time is vital to my well-being) to reflect on the… past two days and write about it. This helped to bring clarity to what had been happening inside of me. Afterwards, I could feel those hormones beginning to return back to a more normal balance. I could literally feel it, almost like waking up and feeling the early morning fog lift from your brain. Then, after swim practice, as Faith and Brady were getting ready to leave the pool, I sat back and quietly listened to how kind and helpful they were being to each other and I felt a wave of gratitude and joy as I listened to them with such a pure, sweet energy towards each other.
Last night at bedtime, I apologized to each of my kids for how grumpy and unreasonable I had behaved. When I talked to Faith, she looked deep into my eyes and said “Its ok, Mommy. I still love you, even when you are angry. You have to always remember that. I forgive you” and she gave me a big hug. That melted all the tension of the past two days away, as I felt a wave of gratitude for my precious little girl. Next, I went to Noah’s room to talk with him. Since he is older (and in the throws of puberty) when I apologized to him, I explained to him what hormonal imbalance can do to females from puberty on (sadness, anger, etc.). He said he understood and knew that it must be something like that because (with a sly, half-grin on his face) there is no way I could be that mad at him for any legitimate reason.
Today, all is back to “normal” around here, and I feel even more connected to each of my children for how we consciously navigated through the past two days.
