Forging deeper connections with our children…
From Number 1 Best-selling Parenting Discipline books, How many parents do you know who struggle with their kids when it comes to homework, report cards, chores, meal time and bedtime? How many parents are frustrated that their child doesn’t listen to them and find the only way to get compliance is to threaten and punish them, but then they feel guilty and their child feels resentful afterwards? Pushed to the brink, they find themselves yelling but not wanting to, yet not knowing any other way. Wasn’t this whole parenting thing supposed to be more fun than it is? How many of us got into parenting thinking that we were simply responsible for raising children who were not only like is us in most ways, but actually a better version of ourselves? Quite far from heavy-handed discipline techniques, which may work in the short term but ultimately sacrifice the parent-child relationship, the key to a healthier, more fulfilling parent-child relationship is a deep connection with kindness at its core.
When we can uncover why children act the way they do (and how our own triggers are contributing to the situation), we can address the reasons for the behavior, and when we address those reasons, the need to punish or discipline the behavior vanishes, and the core of kindness shines through.
Children today are under so much pressure – from parents, teachers, coaches, peers, themselves, social media, etc. But we can buffer children against the adverse effects of that pressure by learning how to forge deep connections with them so that they know they are loved and supported no matter what and that just because they were born, they have a valuable, necessary place in this world; that they have gifts to share and that the world is waiting to receive them.
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